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To find out about the shooting at Northern Illinois University was tragic. Yesterday it was gut wrenching to find out that something that horrible could happen so close to home. Especially when one of my good friends was attending there.

No one had been able to get a hold of Gayle or her parents.

Today I was scheduled to work from 2:30 to 10:30, I woke up, did some laundry and was talking to some friends on the internet. I hadn't talked to my friend Chelsea since before she had moved last summer (?) and she had just IMed me asking how I was doing and if I had heard about the shooting. We continued to talk and catch up when I had opened an article at CNN.com that was about the shooting. I was skimming through the article because I had heard of the five deaths and of the shooter killing himself.

Then after I had read this portion:
"Miller released the identities of four victims: Daniel Parmenter, 20, of Westchester; Catalina Garcia, 20, of Cicero; Ryanne Mace, 19, of Carpentersville; and Julianna Gehant, 32, of Meridan."
I was relieved, Gayle had to be safe.
But then Chelsea asked if I had heard about Gayle, I replied saying no one had gotten a hold of her yet and went back to read more of the article.

Just my luck, the next paragraph:
" Another victim, Gayle Dubowski, a 20-year-old sophomore from Carol Stream, died at a Rockford hospital, Winnebago County Coroner Sue Fiduccia said."

I can't believe it.
Not Gayle.
I immediately responded to Chelsea.

I still haven't been able to stop shaking.
Gayle was such a sweet and innocent girl.
Its not fair.

No one is home. Everyone is at work. I have no one to confide in.
My first time to be so far from home for so long and something like this happens.
There have been several little things already that make me want to quite and go home. And now apparently I'm being told that I have to take a class too, when they've already started.

I call my mom, she knew Gayle, she'll know what to say. No answer. I can't stop crying, so I do what I can to breath and leave her a message knowing she'll call as soon as she can. Then, I know, in this state, theres no way I'd make it through work today. I go in my lanyard and get the phone number and call in. I take a deep breath and keep my voice calm, but then I bring up my reason for calling in. I couldn't hold it in.
Then I text my immediate and let them know whats happened at that I'm not going to work.
Ten, maybe fifteen minutes later my mom calls me. We talk for a little bit, she tells me she had just been thinking that we had considered me attending NIU and that alone was scary for her. She tells me that she's going to try and contact Gayle's parents to find out when the funeral might be and that her and my dad will find a way to get me back for it. She was already late for a meeting at work and said she'd call my dad and have him call me.
Then one by one, friends called me.
My best friend Jessica had found out while she was in school, she got a call from my friend Katie who I was talking to online, everyone was together.
I feel so alone, no one to hug. Dani won't be home till 5:30, and Alayna took my shift so she won't be home till 8.
One of my other roommates says if I need to I can talk to her. Its comforting, but I don't really know her.
Cristina calls, she was on the same soccer team as Gayle at one point in the past, she tells me it'll be okay and to go ahead and eat some comfort food, "have some ice cream." She always can make me laugh, we had just bought some ice cream too. Then she has to go, she's getting on the train to go home, she attends UIC during the week.
A little later I get a call from Darcy, we had just reciently reconnected before I left, since graduation.
Then my dad was calling and I told Darcy I'd call her back.
Now I'm just trying to keep my mind off the events until I know more and until Dani comes home.
I want so bad to be with my family now.
But I know that if I leave Disney now, while I have Dani with me, I wont want to come back.
I need to just bear through now. Which stinks especially because I've only just started.
But all I want now is someone familiar to hug.
And now I don't think that I'll be able to even get that from Dani.

we'll see what else happens.

Dec. 3rd, 2007

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In November I saved a busload of nuns in Angola (326 points). Last Monday I broke ladydragon5188's X-Box (-12 points). In July I pulled blondewolf2's hair (-5 points). In March I stole eternal_sight's purse (-30 points). In June I pulled over and changed cathrines_tears's flat tire (15 points).

Overall, I've been nice (294 points). For Christmas I deserve an XBox 360!


Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:


^-^ Title explain it all. <3!

Disney College Program.


Lets see.
I'll be in Florida in the spring semester. My arrival/departure: 01/28/08-06/06/08
^-^ And of course I'll be taking time off to come back for ACen!!

I'll be staying in apartments that are just for the college program students.
After the cost of the apartment and amenities.

"One- to four-bedroom apartments are available, and housing costs range from $77-$97 per week depending on the size of the apartment and which apartment complex a participant is assigned to live in during his or her program.
Housing costs are automatically deducted weekly from a Cast Members' paychecks, so they don't worry about turning in a check at the beginning of the month. This cost includes all utilities, such as electricity, cable hookup, waste disposal, and local phone service; as well as the various resort-style amenities featured at each complex."

I'm going to be working in COSTUMING.
Which is distributing costumes, washing and transporting costumes and uniforms.
It'll be a dirty job, but I should start at the bottom.

"Disney College Program Cast Members live in gated housing complexes located right outside of Walt Disney World® property. Each complex features a variety of offerings to make you feel right at home*.
Here is a list of amenities included in the housing costs for every participant:
• Fully furnished apartment (click to expand details)
o Dresser w/ mirror
o Nightstand
o (2) Twin beds
Dining Room
o Table w/ 4 chairs
Living Room
o Couch
o Chair
o 2 End tables
Additional Items Provided
o Shower Curtain
o 2 Vanity wastebaskets

• Kitchen appliances, utensils, and dishes (click to expand details)
o Refrigerator w/ ice maker
o Stove, Oven, & Microwave
o Dishwasher
Utensils and Dishes
o Assortment of Pots & Pans w/ lids
o Mixing Bowl Set
o Measuring Cups
o Cutting Board
o Spatula
o Can Opener
o Cutting Knife
o Ladle
o Tea Kettle
o Serving Spoons
o Cookie Sheets
o Dinner plates
o Salad Plates
o Cereal Bowls
o Drinking Glasses
o Coffee Cups
o Set of knives, spoons and forks

• Wireless Internet Lounge, Clubroom Thirteen501
• Local phone service and one central phone
• Maintenance of the apartments, including pest control
• All utilities, including water, electricity, waste disposal
• High-speed Internet access in all apartments
• Computer labs
• Laundry facilities
• 24-hour security
• Cable television
• Swimming pools and hot tubs
• Weight rooms
• Tennis, basketball and racquetball courts
* Each complex and apartment layout is unique. Amenities may differ between apartments."


Jun. 12th, 2007

Well, now that I've recovered my Uniform once again. ^^ i'll fix it to make it look better!


YAY!! Another vaca with Kaiba-kun. ^^ To his Condo in the Wisconsin Dells, AGAIN!!! =^-^= Another FUN 4th of July.

(possibly updated LATER?)


*all excited* Guess what Kaiba-kun!! =^-^= *dances* Theres no need to worry any more, Bec-cause! I finally found my school uniform!! ^-^ Thanks for all your support and concern. I'm so happy i found it, I can't get in trouble with the teachers now. *nervous laugh* ^^'
Thanks for all the help.

Loves Me Not

Might take awhile for the video to LOAD.
If not:
Click REFRESH PAGE if Video is not visible. =^-^=

Jun. 8th, 2007

I graaaaaaduated!! ^-^ out of the dreaded high school. I mean yeah i'll miss all my friends soo much. But now we have freedom, choice to do what we want and get our LIVES STARTED!! I can't wait to start dancing again!

Its going to be so much fun.

Lets take a ride!


Beth... i need your address, rebecca's and Laurels...ASAP!!!!

sorry i'm late, but beth i've been talking to you and you know that the party is today at 2... then we're all going swimming around 4

*watching re-runs of America's Next Top Model-- ^_____^ they had to go to Japan and do a commercial in Japanese.... ^_____^ lmao, they were so mad when they found out that they had to sleep in a capsule hotel* >___< i wanna got to a capsule hotel.
then they had to eat... umeboshi as a commercial in front of the judges and one of the girls spit it out... lmao
(the pickled asain plum that goes in rice)


Birthday Plans

Detailed plans are unofficial... But my party WILL be Saturday the 31st.
possibly 2pm... ^-^ ttyl